This is the house (for Crissy Bridwell)

I remember my sister Crissy loving this song as teenager. I didn’t realize how intense she was even then.

This is a gnarled dark song – and a not too distant echo of our family at that time.

By the time I went to college she had started to struggle with anorexia, bulimia and alcoholism.

I have so many intense memories of her. All the life experiences siblings share. She was so willing to fight for her way while I always bent.

My life was equally hard so I didn’t always see how deeply she was hurting and needing help.

My mother really tried to help. And things for my sister were always going up and down. She nearly died in her late 20s. I can still remember her all bloated and near dead in the intensive care unit. Telling my father that we all were always dying…

She survived and improved for a while. I remember when things got worse. I regret not doing more to help her but she was tired and I didn’t have faith we could help here anymore.

I remember her going through alcohol withdrawals in the hospital. Going to see her each day. Then she went home.

Within a week or two I made her come to my house but she was sick.

She stayed with us for a few days and was very weak. I took her to her doctor – and an hour later they called me to tell her that I should come to the hospital.

By the time I got there – she was dead. I refused to pray with the pastor as I looked at her dead body.

Miss you Crissy wish you had made it through – Im sure Julian would have loved you.

You always loved Annies voice…